Mysteriousness breeds curiosity.

Pam has one unique characteristic. She hates to be late. No, it's not the unique thing. Pam hates to be late, so she usually starts preparing too early. It happens that the bus doesn't come until 30 minutes later, but Pam is all ready and rolled in her clothing, waiting next to the door, like a dog who hasn't been taken for a walk for a whole day. The same happens now with Malta holidays. Pam feels itchy to start preparing already, but it's still so much time left that she's trying to wait for longer. And while she's waiting, she uses enourmous period of time on doing nothing. And thinking. And there is a lot to think about.

Just some few days ago, Pam waved her friend, Ellen, good bye. Ellen went to UK to spend one year on observing Englishmen and studying in Oxford University. But Pam supposes, she will spend more time on observing. Or at least that's what I would be doing there, Pam said to herself. Just before Ellen left, they spent with Pam one afternoon on talking about their other friend Kate. Kate was the missing element of the P.E.K. Triple. Always the missing element actually. While Pam and Ellen talked about absolutely everything, starting from Asian stuff, through everyday topics and ending on some disgusting things, Kate was always the one to listen, never talk. Pam and Ellen tried so many times to make Katy talk about herself, by making her drunk, but it never work. No, Kate doesn't seem to be very strong when it comes to drinking alcohol. It's just that she never drinks. Pam sighed quietly.

Pam, Kate and Ellen started hanging out together long after they first met. Kate and Pam were in the same group in middle school, but Katy was the good girl, liked by everyone, both teachers and the student, while Pam was rather the outcast, who never knew who to hang out with. Pam remebered when Kate was the only person within their group who refused to play hookey and stayed behind at school. Everyone was very angry on her, but what Pam was thinking then was quite different. Something that was supposed to be fun (it was Pam's first time to ditch school), bored her to death and she was quite impressed by Kate's assertivenes. How did Pam and Kate start to be friends? Pam believes it's the French class that made them even talk. Or was it not?

With Ellen, the story went different, at least for Pam. In middle school, Ellen was in a different group and Pam doesn't remeber much about her. Then, when she saw the list of people that got into University on the same major as her, there it was. Name and surname that seemed quite familiar. The next coincidence was Katy calling Pam to meet her and Ellen on Ellen's brother's concert. On which Katy didn't come.

Thinking about it, it should be Kate that Pam knows more about, but that was not true. Pam didn't know anything. Neither did Ellen. The less Katy was talking about herself, the more Pam and Ellen were imagining. The secret life of Kate. And it must be quite an interesting life, Pam thought. After all, you never know where Kate is. Once she's in Paris, once in Rzeszów, another time she's thinking of going to Iceland, the next she's studying in UK. What Pam was imagining sometimes is three of them meeting in 40-50 years, as old grannies and the Kate would say: "You know girls, actually when you thought I'm in Brzozów, I was actually........" or something close to that.

Kate, if you ever read this, please do tell us more, Pam thought as she decided to end this never-ending post and start preparing to work. Again too early.

Somewhere is better than anywhere.

Lately Pam's levels of frustration has been reported as high, according to Pam herself and other signs around. She's been feeling tired and a bit down, as she feels that her life is standing in one place again. Well, she's enjoying her job, although it's tiring her out, especially the night shifts, which she has in number of 13 in the next month's schedule, but directing complains to manager didn't do her any good. "Everyone has that many night shifts", she was told, which was obviously a lie, since the number of night shifts per person doesn't exceed 8, at least that's what the schedule clearly shows. But there's no talk with the manager, who doesn't work night shifts, neither the weekends, and gets the salary twice as big as Pam's.

Just another 10 days and I'll be off on holidays, thought Pam while standing at the front desk, faking smiles to the guests who were running around the lobby and shouting loudly to each other. Yes, guys, you should shout louder, she thought and scratched her knee. 21st of August is the day when she was planning to forget about the job completely. She decided to forget about everything else that made her frustrated too and just indulge herself in sunbathing, swimming in the sea and exploring Malta. Travelling alone has its good points. No need to adjust your plans to someone else's, no need to worry about your friend going off somewhere and leaving you alone.

Actually, Pam had a few things to think through while on her holidays. Her career. Her plans to move out from home next year, without making her family angry on her for that. Her self-development. Her future. There are so many things that were worrying her, that she needed time to sit and do nothing, which was obviously impossible while working normally.

Starting a new blog was supposed to be a sign that Pam is starting anew again. She will definitely get out of the slump, she just doesn't know how to, as of yet.